In Praise of Making

47 Ways Forward - Strategies for Navigating the Next Four Years

1

In 1961, the year I was conceived, my mother, the artist Carole Hedges, painted her first abstract.

It’s the one painting of my mother’s that I re-encounter every day as it hangs in a prized spot in my home office. Not because it’s my favorite of her paintings - but rather because it’s the one love rescued.

Back in 1961, after the paint dried, my mother looked at what she had made, decided it was terrible and threw it in the trash. My father, her future ex-husband, retrieved it and had it framed, where he hung it on the wall of our house on Locust Street. It moved with us to 23^rd Street. And when my parents divorced, it was the one work of art of hers my dad was allowed to keep. And when he died, it was – along with his 58 years of sermon notes and a hand-sketched drawing of St. Timothy’s Church – the church my dad and mom helped make – the belonging of his (and hers) I most wanted to inherit.

2

It is easy to destroy but hard to create. Remember that, when you want to destroy something. — Pearl S. Buck

Over these last 72 days, there has been an inordinate amount of destruction, a Trumpian-Muskian Parade of Horribles. Proof incarnate that it’s all too easy to tear down. To slash and burn. To gut. To dismantle. To destroy.

3

This morning I found myself staring extra long at my mom’s painting. I thought about how close it came to being thrown away. And then it made me remember a conversation we had during one of our hardest times.

In 1998, my mother retired as a therapist, left New York City, and moved back to her happy place, which was her grandparent’s farmhouse in Russell, Iowa. Within weeks, she was diagnosed with cancer and the prognosis was grim. For the next fifteen months, my siblings and I shuttled back and forth to help take care of her.

In the Spring of 1999 - on a beautiful day like today - I was back in Brooklyn and on the phone with my mom. I was talking very fast, my voice kept rising in pitch, as I was sharing some new alternative treatment ideas. “Mom, I think I found a doctor who might have a new approach …” And she said, “Peter, Peter, stop, what are you doing?” And I said, “Mom, I’m trying to figure out how to keep you here longer.”

Then she paused and said, “Well, do you know what I want?”

“No,” I said. It seems I hadn’t thought to ask.

She said, “I want to know what you’re making.”

“Mom, there’s too much going on right now. I can’t make anything, not with you sick. What’s the point?”

“What’s the point of making? Peter, that’s the only point.”

I started to say something but she shut me down: “We’re getting off the phone and the next time we talk, I want you to tell me what you’re making. Because nothing makes me happier than when you’re making.”

The fact that this conversation led to the writing of my first original screenplay of the first film I would direct and that would be dedicated to the memory of my mother and remain my most favorite thing I’ve ever made is … beside the point.

The point is that she was right.

And I didn’t know it then, but I more than know it now. Which makes it the next of my 47 Ways Forward:

#13 Make, whenever possible. Especially during the hard times, make.

4

There are so many ways to make.

Here’s a partial list, in no particular order:

Make way. Make time. Make it matter. Make out. Make up. Make do. Make a mark. Make a change. Make meaning. Make believe. Make a splash. Make a difference. Make an amend. Make love, as if you or the world is about to end. Make a garden. Make waves. Make matters better. Make peace with your unlived life. Make good. Make use. Make a call. Make a donation. Make them laugh. Make them wait. Make the other person more important. Make it with or without you. Make a memory. Make haste. Make your own kind of music. Make art. Make a wish. Make it simple. Make magic. Make a mess. Make a re-make. Make an escape. Make a safe space. Help someone make it through the night. Make it happen for someone you believe in. Make what you must. Make it easy on yourself. Make it harder on your opponent President.

Make a memory. Make community. Make light of something. Make yourself a light.

5

Yesterday Cory Booker made himself a light. And not only did he meet the moment, he made the moment. And the beauty of his particular making was that it didn’t need to be perfect. And he didn’t do it alone. With the help of his staff, and the support of his brother-in-arms Senator Chris Murphy who along with Cory’s cousin flanked him for all twenty-five hours and four minutes that he held the floor, and by yielding multiple times for questions from his fellow Senators, Booker gave us his all. Surely he would have made his mentor, the late great John Lewis, proud.

For it is John Lewis’s words that frame perhaps the Greatest Make of All.

“Never, ever be afraid to make some noise and get in good trouble, necessary trouble. We will find a way to make a way out of no way.” – Rep. John Lewis