Be Like Geese

47 Ways Forward - Strategies for Navigating the Next Four Years

1

The morning after Carole Hedges, my mother, died, I was lost in a blurry fog of grief.

She had left us too soon at the age of 68 in the place where she had felt most alive — the farmhouse of her grandparents just outside Russell, Iowa. My mom had retired the year before and had moved back to her happy place where she’d spent dreamy summers with her sister Shirlee helping her grandparents on the family farm.

But now it was a freezing, snow-drift-covered February morning - the first after her passing - when my sister, brothers and I were left to face all the hard facts — our mother’s forevermore physical absence - the dawning ache that we would never hear her sweet voice again. That same morning, I remember wondering and almost saying out loud, “Mom, where did you go?” Soon after — my memory wants it to have been instantaneous — but it was close enough in time that I can’t help but still make the connection — I heard, faintly at first, the distant honk of geese in flight. As that glorious sound grew louder, I rushed to the nearest window just as the skein of geese whooshed over the house, flying presumably south in their signature ‘V’ formation, hopefully off to someplace warmer.

It felt to me as if they’d made a special detour to come pick up my mom.

Ever since, when I think about her, and if you’re a reader of this Substack, you know I think of her often — I like to remind myself, “She’s with the geese.”

2

I come from a family of painters. My mother was an accomplished artist, as is my sister Mary Clare. My mother’s father, my Grandpa Ray, loved to do paint by numbers. I don’t pretend to be an artist, but in anticipation of writing this post, I attempted the following watercolor a little more than a week ago.

3

A few facts about Geese [and why it may be wise to be more like them.]

They mate for life.

They fly in a “V” formation. As each bird flaps its wings, it creates an uplift for the bird immediately following. By flying in "V" formation, the whole flock adds at least 71 percent greater flying range than if each bird flew on its own.

Flying in V formation is not only about position but also about the timing of flapping. The birds behind will sync with the flapping pattern of the leading bird to follow the trail of upwash left by the bird at front.

Geese poop a lot. But that’s not our focus here.

Oh, and they molt.

4

Every year in late spring, early summer, Geese molt. Or rather, shed their feathers. And during this time they stay grounded — and are extremely vulnerable to predators. Molting helps to cool the goose by increasing the area of bare skin. Molting also helps with getting rid of damaged or worn flight feathers. By shedding their old feathers, geese can make way for new, healthy, dense feathers that will allow for migration and also help them stay warm once temperatures drop.

5

This past February or maybe it was March, I reached out to one of my O.G.’s. One of the most foundational people in my life. This person - let’s call him Russ because that’s his actual name -- is my best friend. We were even best men at each other’s weddings. I seek his counsel for all Life matters and we talk frequently and, lately, meaningfully about this moment and how to maneuver in it.

For the 2024 election, my best friend Russ worked tirelessly. Post-election, he took our loss particularly hard. And when I reached out to him, he was still reeling and exhausted from his Herculean efforts to affect a different outcome.

I didn’t know at the time - because I didn’t enough about geese - that Russ wasn’t defeated. He was molting.

How do I know? I wanted his thoughts on my early idea for a potential new project — — it would be called Signs of the Time. The idea was to celebrate the creativity and ferocity on display in protest signs around the country and share the stories behind the signs.

I had quickly created a proof of concept and shared it with Russ and a small cadre of other friends, old and new. To my surprise, most of them were beyond excited and subsequently have gone all in — so suddenly there was, if you will, a “gaggle” or a “flock” of others. And soon we were in flight.

At first, I was at the front — but I tired (and life got ‘lifey’) — and in geese-like fashion, others took my place in the front, most especially my best friend Russ — who with his ‘fresh feathers’ has led the rest of us much further than any of us could go on our own.

And just in time because these last many weeks, I’ve gone quiet on Substack and in other spaces. I’ve been reading, listening, trying to navigate all the crazy and counter all the cruel, while quietly making protest signs. If you were to ask me, “Pete, what have been up to?” I think I now know what to say. “Me? Oh, I’ve been molting.”

My new feathers are almost finished coming in.

6

In her stunning new book Loving Corrections, adrienne maree brown writes brilliantly and beautifully about how we need to Remember the rules of flocking. She writes, “Move in right relationship to those closest to you, maintain the right distance to feel each other’s shifts. Don’t crash into each other. Avoid predation. No one is setting the permanent direction for the whole flock - each one is finding the next best adaptive step when they are at the front, and following when they are at the middle or the back.” And “Stagger. No one can sustain being in the front of the migration from old ideas to new ideas indefinitely.”

7

Two signs seem to suggest that it’s time for me to get my metaphorical wings flapping again.

This past Monday morning, while biking to the Montauk lighthouse, I was having a first listen to a playlist made specifically for me by my younger son. From a new-to-me band called Friendship came a song entitled “Workhorse” — where the lead vocalist achingly sings the following:

I went to the banks

And I saw the geese take flight

Sign me up to fly

I want to take that ride

On the official airline

Of the Magic Kingdom

8

Yesterday would have been my mother’s 94th birthday. In a mere handful of years, if I’m so lucky, I will be 68, the age she was when she took flight.

She’s been much on my mind. So how fitting that yesterday morning, while lying in bed half-awake that I heard a faint honking that was slowly growing louder. I bolted out of bed, grabbed my phone/camera and rushed outside, just in time to capture this.

So this all leads to the humble offering of another of my 47 Ways Forward.

#18 Find Your Flock.

Geese remind us.

When we join with people who share our purpose, the hard is less hard. And the better is always always so much better.

This is how we sustain. This how we remain in flight and in the fight.

And it’s a great way forward.

Find your flock.

Then fly.

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Peter Hedges is a founding member of Signs of the Time and a proud member of the Iowa Writer’s Collaborative.

Signs of the Time can be found on Instagram, FaceBook, and here on Substack.